‘Why should I have to pay?’: Mom refuses to give her ex $1000 so he can take their 15-year-old daughter on vacation with his new family, then she goes no contact

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

This dad never tried to be a part of his 15-year-old daughter's life until he realized he could get his family vacation bankrolled by his ex-wife. By inviting his teenage daughter on an end-of-summer trip with his new family, he thought he was being slick, but when he requested $1000 from his wife's Apple Pay, she saw right through his plan. 

Maybe next time, don't try to be the fun dad without knowing if you can pay for it. Your daughter is old enough to recognize a scammer. 

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  • Woman and her teenage daughter outside embracing
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "AITA for not paying for my daughter to go on a family trip with her dad?"

    For some context I have been taking my daughter to Florida every year for spring break for the past 8 years (I was living in a different state at the time). When I moved back home her father asked me if I would allow her to
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  • go on a family trip with him and his family. I told him it was fine and I left. A couple weeks go by and he sends me a $1,000 request on Apple Pay. I immediately called him and asked him
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  • what it was for and he said it was the trip so she could have money to spend/pay for her room. I instantly went off and told him I was not sending him anything and why should I have to pay for her to go on a trip with him?. He said he was not working
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  • and that he really wanted her to go. I reminded him that I had just moved back so money was tight, plus he does absolutely nothing for her through out the year. He barely spends time with her. In order for her
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  • to see him I have to drop her off at her aunts house and even then he is in and out of the house. I told him he was bat sh crazy for thinking I would ever give him anything. And that he should be lucky that I'm even letting
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  • her come around. He got upset and told me I was keeping her away from his family and now his family won't stop harassing me but none of them are willing to at least help me pay for her to go. I asked my daughter how
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  • she felt about it and she said she didn't really care to go but now they are saying I am making her say these things. She is 15 by the way. I have extreme anxiety and the harassment is really triggering for me and it's starting to make me second guess myself. So AITA?
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  • Head-Emotion-4598. Of course you're NTA. The bills they rack up on his time are his responsibility, and if his family won't help him pay then that's on them. Not your problem.
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  • What's crazy is that this woman sensed that something was off from the beginning. Although she had faith that her ex would want to spend time with their child, after he spent years dodging child support and keeping himself unemployed, she was apprehensive of his goodwill. Luckily, before the daughter could get her hopes up about going to Florida for a last-minute Labor Day tan, she caught her ex's scheme red-handed. 

  • ogo7. NTA. Block his families number and tell him if he continues bothering you then you'll block his as well. He's out of his mind thinking you'd send him money when he doesn't even pay child support. Would he give you money to go visit your family? Absolutely not. He's a deadbeat.
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  • catinnameonly Tell him to ask his family to help if he can't afford it and they want to see her. Has he ever paid for anything beyond what is court ordered of him... or even that? Does he actually owe you money for anything?
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  • Boy bye. He's responsible for paying for a trip he wants to take her on. ΝΤΑ
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  • FlashyHabit3030 NTA. Your daughter doesn't want to go. Problem solved. If his family wants her to go they should pay. Don't stress yourself out over something you know is not your concern, Update, please.
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  • Alarmed-Speaker-8330. Let the flying monkeys howl away. I'm always so shocked in these subs how the whole family blows up someone's phone. I don't think I've ever talked to my ex MIL since my split in 2008.
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  • ckm22055. Absolutely not the a hole, but boy, does he feel entitled to your money. Tell everyone calling you if they want her to go and spend time with dad, then they can pay for it.
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  • It is not your responsibility to fund a vacation for him. Does he pay child support? I'm just curious.
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  • He is the one that planned the trip and now, he has advised that you should pay for it. He then throws that you are keeping your daughter away from him. When?
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  • Just tell them flying monkeys that you aren't attending their circus as you aren't interested in the show.
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